Saturday, March 8, 2014

Does he like/interest in me? Or am i overthinking?

Sorry for the long paragraph, poured out my feeling here >< and try to add as much detail as i cn.

i know this guy working as a clerk, and i was working as an clerk's assistant. I only had a normal "just-a-colleague" feeling toward him during the first day of work (dont even know he exist until the staff there told him to teach me) . It was awkward initially, especially after he told me about admin stuff he kept eye contact at me while talking and after talking which become awkward silence (because i have nothing to ask, and i was expecting him to look away and continue on…). But he just looked and until i leave the eye contact moment and started to look at admin stuff, he nod and said "yeah…"

it was at this point i began to wonder if he liked me or not, i have nvr seen guys looking straight in my eyes during that awkward silence. But then after a few times of interacting with him, i realised he was a shy n quiet guy, he rarely speak alot with his friends/ colleagues. I talked to him during work and break, so often, after i asked him question, he spoke a few sentences and gone quiet again, and realised i could not continue the convo. (awkward silence again). Then we looked at each other and smiled shyly.

ironically, i realised i was attracted to him after knowing him just 5 days in work, he was a nice, humble, friendly guy (sometimes obedient, does not sabotage colleague, really honest). Sometimes during lunch break, when i was not talking while his friends/ colleagues are talking to each other, i shifted my eyes between the two of them and then i shifted my eye contact to him, i realised his eyes met mine. I was pretty shy so i instantly looked away from it. I dun know how to describe how he looked, it was like his eyes were alr fixed there when i started to look at him (he still didnt say anything)… Gradually, i started to tease and joke him because sometimes he really is clumsy in doing thing. And when he did something good, i praised him and he would laugh lightly and said "nah this is too much for me" then thanked me again (all the time). It was really fun to play with him (he is so humble and his response is funny). But when work-related is over, it becomes awkward again. Not only that, i started to like his fat fingers and the way he typed words (it was really cute). Sometimes i really wonder if i have liked him and vice versa or im just overthinking. Since im working in an army office (there is no girls in that office), I do not know how he speak with the other girls. He dun really share much of his life to me when i asked or when i shared mine.

Whenever I go like if there is a talk to attend, at the end of talk,he will walk back and walk with me as i walked with the crowd, even when he walked the other way initially. Not sure if he just accompany me/ the staff told him to take care of me since im new? I thought he would just go straight back to the office and meet me up thr.

at one point of times, when his colleagues were busy, just the two of us went to lunch break, and was really awkward (i do not know if i shld sit besides him or opposite) then there were some colleagues walked past him teased or something like that. And his face was like "no you are mistaken" and he looked at me, not sure how to answer to me. (i told him it was alright). Our eyes looked away from each other when we were eating quietly

At times i felt he treated me nicely because i was a newcomer. And it was just only a colleagues feeling.

im not pretty looking, do not really have that much feminine features. (i look like a guy when i cut my hair:( ) the only nice features i have is my lip and forehead, and prob my face-shape…
i don put make up, fail at wearing contact lens. Sometimes i dun understand y some guys asked me to be his gf… Or like me… I often wear t-shirt and jean, always with my study mode on.

sometimes i think it was foolish of me to thought of all these.

How strange is that i would get attract by him with just working 5 days with him, btw, i was surprised he was 2 yrs younger than me

I hope someone can tell me if all these are just his shyness and being nice or he is interested in me…

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