It just seems like everything I try and do goes wrong for me. First of all I'm ugly. I have very few positive features. I have glasses that don't suit me yet I can't afford contact lenses. Severe acne, ridiculous amounts of body hair and then random bald patches right in the middle of a section of really long hair.
I seem to be really bad at whatever sports I take up. I took up football and got hit in the face with the ball and broke my nose which now makes me automatically flinch and cover my face when anybody kicks a ball so I can't play football anymore.
Then I took up skateboarding for a few years and ended up falling off and breaking my leg which seemed to leave me too traumatised to get back on a skateboard.
I took up MMA but my reaction times are too slow and never seem to improve meaning every sparring section I was getting hammered because it usually takes me about a second and a half to react.
Took up Parkour but was crap at it and never seemed to improve so I ended up dropping it.
I have dysbraxia meaning alot of other sports involving catching and co-ordination I can't do.
I can't play video games online or on hard difficulties either because I react too slow to my opponents and get obliterated.
On an educational stand point I did really badly on my GCSEs. Not fails but mostly just low grade passes.No As. I think i got like a B for music. I'm doing As Level now which I seem to be failing at.It's not that I don't revise either. I revise for at least 4 hours a day and I've tried so many different methods but nothing seems to work. I'm just naturally thick.
I had a well paying job for my age as I was only working 2 days a week and getting £350 a month which I was happy with. But I've recently got laid off and after weeks and weeks of searching I can't find another job, meaning I'm absolutely broke and struggling to support myself financially. I can barely cook, I can literally cook about 6 meals and that's about it.So I'm eating the same stuff every week. I have tried learning other recipes but I tend to forget them a lot.
Just to top things off. I've only ever had 5 relationships in my entire life. And only 1 of them I wasn't cheated on. I have an awful personality so I don't really get on with people. I have tried to change but I just can't.
I used to get on with everyone and then both my best friends died within a year of each other and it changed me completely.
Just top make matters worse I suffer from Avoidant Personality Disorder and depression which I'm taking medication for. I'm an insomniac and have become addicted to sleep medication (Although I've never admitted that to anyone.)
And because I'm quite thick I often get bullied and made fun of a lot. I don't really have any friends so i don't get out much and I'm never invited to parties or nothing like that. I spend most of my time inside bored.
The only things I can say I'm good at is swimming and writing songs. I enjoy both of those and do them a lot but I still don't feel like I'm good enough to get anywhere with any of that as none of that stuff is useful. I'm sorry if it sounds like I'm complaining, I just feel so low about myself. Somebody help me by giving some advice. Please! Any advice from anyone who's been trhough the same kind of thing or similar things.
См. статью: Why am I such a failure?