First of all, I consider myself a very intelligent person. I'm in trigonometry as a freshman, went to high school in 6th grade, etc. I say this because I am in firm disbelief of any notion indicating myself to be "crazy". However, I don't doubt I have some kind of psychological disorder.
I have a secret. I hear strange voices and whispering whenever it gets to be nighttime, sometimes accompanied by delusions. During the day, I don't hear the voices. When it gets dark outside, however, I start hearing voices. I can literally ignore them if I want to, but the more I focus on the voices, the more I hear them. Sometimes they tell me messages, and they force myself to see hallucinations and delusions, as well as flashbacks of various moments in my life. These flashbacks can be from when I was little to earlier that day. Whenever these hallucinations or flashbacks occur, it's like a film that goes over the lens of my eye, to where I'll just move around and can't "un-see" the flashbacks. Sometimes I feel like gorging my eyes out so I don't have to see them, for sometimes they're extremely creepy.
I've heard these voices for as long as I can remember. Sometimes the voices accompany me whenever I'm in a struggle or forced to make a hard decision, and they'll start whispering. I've found that they like to fool me; deceive me and appeal to my emotions and regrets. Also, I have a "photographic" memory, so sometimes the things that I've seen previously during the day will start randomly being forced as a clear, mental image in my head. I haven't ever told anyone about these voices and such, and thought that I could cope with them. I can actually get sleep at night nowadays, because if I put on music with headphones and then clench my eyes shut, I can normally go to sleep alright.
I've considered different things such as the fact that the voices could all, so-to-speak, be "in my head". I could just be in such firm affirmation that the voices exist, that I deem them to be real. However, I've found this NOT to be the case. I committed myself to investigating the voices thoroughly, and the psychological effect that they have.
Added (1). My question is as to what psychological disorder I might have, by the way.
Added (2). My question is as to what psychological disorder I might have, by the way.
См. статью: Whenever it gets dark, I hear strange voices and whispering?