Hi, I'm 17 years old and a boy, and i love this girl to my death who is 15 years old.
The story begins 1.5 years back from now. That time we were in the same school, but i had to go away from that school so we seperated. We never really talked much to each other but i was 15 and she was 13, even though i let her know in a way that i love her, she just said she doesn't like me:). Counting from today, half a year ago i decided to send her a message to her in facebook, like how is it going and so on. In summertime i was running in a park, where apparently she saw me but i didnt see her because i have really bad eyes and i didn't have my lenses on my eyes, so we talked about that and ever since then i told her that i want to meet with her (yes, i've been asking her to meet in the past half year:p), but she is always like "i dont know", "i think ill be free next week so we may hang out i think", but the thing is shes always calling it off for some reason… Of course i want to meet with her after half a year i think it's normal:D but i'm alright if she doesn't want yet. Time was passing, i saw pictures of her and she didn't change much, i still love her so much! So i told her this again, and now her reaction was "Look, you are the perfect guy for me, we have so much in common and you are so kind but somethings different in us…". Again, time was passing and i kind of feel that she is unsure. Then i noticed some struggling periods, like when there is a problem that she never tells me, i understand that she doesnt want to bore me with her problems, but i dont get bored by that because i CARE about her problems, even if it cant be solved by me i just dont like seeing her like that, and because of that problem which she doesnt tell me, our conversation is affected in a way that we literally talk about NOTHING. So the other reason why i wanted to hang out with her, is to talk because i can tell you, talking with her in chat, is totally not the same as outside, for me its becoming harder and harder to find topics to talk about with her in chat. i can accept that she still wants to wait, i can accept everything just let us meet at least lol, to be honest i can even accept that she doesn't love me. But, not so long ago, something came to my mind. She's been having these problems pretty often and i concluded that its with her family, which makes me even more stressed because i know she is getting hurt and i so don't like that! Yeah, but what if we are talking about nothing else, but me being an emotional tool for her? I'm pretty sure girls like to listen "how beautiful you look my god! Aww, you have soo beautiful eyes:D! I love you.". I really can't decide which is it now… Our conversations are boring, its always me who is talking about myself even though i told her that im getting bored of talking about myself i want to know her more, she doesn't want to meet live after half a year, she never tells me her problems, she is making confusing comments. I asked her if i'm being too much for asking what's her problem, but she said no it's okay it's the way she is. So i'd like to move on, but i can't because what if she has got some problems in her family, it would be really bad to leave her in a situation like that. but what if she's just using me to boost her ego? I couldn't find an answer, so please if you have an idea, please tell me i really love her but i'm not stupid i will force myself to cut off the lines between us. Thanks
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